A Totally Missed Opportunity

A decent cast and outstanding visual effects can't save this remake of a Sci-Fi classic from itself. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): This movie was fun to watch, Pontificator. I say it that way because after I say that, this movie deviates so dramatically from the original short story it is based on I have to cry foul. It barely references the VERY good (and memorable) 1990 film starring action titan, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sad.

Originally published as a short story in 1966 in a science fiction magazine by author Philip K. Dick , under the original title; "We can remember it for you Wholesale", so even the title is a detraction. Since the original story (1966) was about a construction worker on Earth who wants to have a (false) memory of a trip to Mars implanted into his psyche. When we fast forward to 2012, this movie looses all sense of the story's original plot. It also looses it's way by losing the off-world direction by keeping the story on Earth. In fact, 'losing it's way' is a good way to summarize this latest movie.

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): You are treasure trove of information Vader! I had no knowledge of the original short story, so the only continuity discussion for me has to involve the first film of the same name. The only question that needs to be asked is if it retains the same story and/or elements of it’s predecessor. The short answer is yes, it contains many elements of the first film, but the story has been slightly altered. Well... by slightly I mean they’ve swapped out Mars in favor of staying on Earth and traveling through the core. On second thought... that’s a significant story change since that made the goal of the antagonist completely different in each film. Sigh... this review is going to get complicated.

CASTING, DIRECTING AND ACTING

AV: The cast of Total Recall was impressive, Ponty. In as much, I gotta' give a nod of recognition to Sci-Fi movie maven, Kate Beckinsale. This of course makes this movie infinitely more watchable for me! Unfortunately, that is where the attraction stopped for me. Even the addition of villain extraordinaire, Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad fame, the always intelligent and lovely Jessica Beile and even hunky leading boy Colin Farrell couldn't really make this movie matter. Flat characterizations, shoddy dialogue and poor story progression made this movie one heck of a shoulder shrug.

TP: I think Colin Farrell has hit or miss performances depending on the subject and script, and this film was s definite miss... although I don’t think his performance was all that bad. Kate Beckinsale is always a pleasure to see and I found her performance to convey an aura of lethality and menace as she was relentless in her pursuit of Quaid. Jessica Biel wasn’t a stand out, but I think much of that has to do with the script. Bokeem Woodbine is always fun to watch for me, and although his role was cursory, he had the one scene that seems to stand out in the minds of fans (from reading many of the movie fan sites). The directing was at blistering speed, and I think this hurt the movie more than help it... and although the cast wasn’t bad, if you’re going to remake a Schwarzenegger classic, you’ve got to do better than this.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: I couldn't recommend a better-looking Sci-Fi movie–from a visual effects standpoint–than this film. The stunning near-future cityscape is some of the best I think I have seen onscreen. The best robot-android effects seen since "I Robot" (2008) and some compelling near-future technology. Even the grossly unrealistic "Fall" ship was expertly rendered onscreen. I really felt I was viewing a futuristic London with hover ships and magnetic freeways. I wish the same could be said for the actual story and characters…although it did have Kate Beckinsale!

TP: This is the one area that the movie totally excelled in. The special effects were great. There was so much here from the look of the world to the phone embedded in the hand, that I scarcely know where to begin. The CGI was excellent also, and this film was a perfect example of taking all that has been done before, and doing it flawlessly. There need not be any new ground broken with effects if all the lessons have been learned, and the final product looks like a fantasy come-to-life. Almost every shot was laden with effects of one type or another... and try as I might, I can’t lodge a single complaint in this department.

TAKING A DEEPER LOOK

AV: This movie was ultimately doomed to failure, Pontificator. The original published short story unveiled a troubled and bored mind that wanted a memory of a Martian adventure. This movie completely ignored that original concept and instead shared some half-cocked story about a random, converted terrorist guy who gets his memories re-activated. Lame. Also, can we discuss this whole "Fall" business? I mean, really? A commuter rail that connects the English Isles to Australia…uh, I mean "The Colony"? So in 90 years after a CHEMICAL war devastates the Earth (because we apparently forgot about all the nukes) humans can only live in two places that are magically untouched by this 'chemical' devastation. And those two place are accessible to each other via a giant subterranean tube. Oh and don't worry, weather doesn't effect the contamination from these deadly toxic poisons. If the chemicals traveled with the wind, why… that would just be RUDE! Good thing we didn't go with the whole Martian storyline guys, I mean, it's not like NASA has sent working motorized robot probes and satellites there or anything. Good call, there!

TP: There seems to be a trend forming of remakes to Schwarzenegger films... with dismal results. Conan was a flop, and this film follows suit, despite the effects, for the same reason Conan failed. You just can’t do Arnold better than Arnold.

Gone are the one liners, gone are the colorful and bigger than life characters (anyone remember Benny...he had five kids to feed?), gone is the careful care taken to make a decent script, and therefore a good movie. The original has plenty of action and comedy to keep the audience dazzled and laughing. This film had special effects at every turn, and not much else. A devastated Earth where the upper class take advantage of the less fortunate...hmmm, I’ve seen this one before, recently (Hunger Games). At least the first film had the intrigue of going to another planet, and the curiosity of the alien machinations to build technology that would make Mars livable. If I were discussing this film in the context of just it’s presentation, I could be kinder, but my hand has been forced since they chose to follow in the footsteps of one of the sci-fi greats... and their feet just don’t measure up.

I’m still on the fence about if the original is a dream or real... and that was great writing. In this film I’m convinced it was real since Farrell had been dreaming of Biel in a specific way, long before he ever set foot in ReKall... whereas Arnold picked his fantasy on the spot at Recall, and then events unfolded per those specifications. The argument made through the film was much more convincing in 1990 than in 2012.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This movie isn't bad but ultimately it's quite forgettable, even though it stars Kate Beckinsale. What would be cool is for someone to use a ReKall machine and extract the memory of having ever watched this train wreck. Then when someone wants to make a serious re-make of this story, I will be able to say "Oh, nice idea, maybe it could even rival the Arnold version from 1990. Sweet idea!

TP: No need to make one...and very little desire to see one from the general public I’d suspect. In truth, this film should have went in another direction with the elements they had in place than a remake of the original. To mess with a classic was their first mistake, and I see no reason to compound that with another go at it. Here is a hint to all that would seek to remake anything Arnold Schwarzenegger has done: Don’t.

RATE IT!

Arth Vader rates Total Recall (2012): This movie is nowhere near as bad as my critique indicates. It is certainly worth a viewing, but you certainly don't need to see it on the big screen and by no means do you need to bring an analytical–or functioning–brain. The movie looks good and is certainly jam-packed with terrific action scenes. Just don't search for cohesive thoughts that make sense or a sense of meaning to a meaningless story. Total recall is a total disappointment that is not a total loss (Kate Beckinsale). After all is said and done, I still feel compelled to offer this film five busted blocks, though for the life of me, I can't seem to recall why.

THE PONTIFICATOR Rates Total Recall (2012): Apart from the special effects, there is very little about this movie I’d like to recall... and think it totally missed the mark for a great movie or even a good remake. Special effects does not a movie make, and this one only busted five blocks... totally.

Total Recall (2012): 5/10 Busted Blocks

Daredevil: Missed the Bullseye

Marvel dared us all to take a leap of faith in the 2003 summer big screen debut of DareDevil. With successful Marvel franchise movies like The Fantastic Four, X-MEN & Blade, 20th Century Fox looked to the crimson leather-clad knight of the night to get audiences to buy into Ben Affleck as the man without fear.

Continuity with the Marvel (Comic Book) Universe

ARTH VADER (AV): Ok, Ponty, I gotta say, this movie had real promise... when it was a trailer! While not the hugest Daredevil fan, I love the concept of Daredevil. Unfortunately, this movie downgraded this character for me. He's cool, a thief-in-the-night kind of guy that beats up New York's worst baddies and turns them into true believers. As a Marvel movie, it simply missed the mark by being so horribly out of step with the original comic books that there were times I almost forget who and what I was watching.

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): As we know Vader, there are always elements of the comic that make it to the silver screen just as there are always elements that never do. The only question is do the omissions hurt the movie or should some source material have been left out. In the case of Daredevil, omissions hurt it more than keeping anything from the book could help it. To start...where was Stick? Instead of finding a way to incorporate his contribution to the character, he is simply cut out altogether and we’re to believe that young Matt Murdock acquired all his martial skill along with his powers. It may seem like a minor issue, but I’m making it because I just don’t see someone reaching that level of skill without training...especially when that training process is such a huge part of who the character really is.

Wilson Fisk a.k.a. The Kingpin

AV: Daredevil is a classic case of having too much fantastic source material – and ignoring every bit of it. DD continues the FOX trend of taking deeply developed, personality-rich characters that took decades to establish and applying a kid-in-a-candy-store story-telling technique that just flat lines. Matt Murdock himself could have written a better script (sorry about that one). I hated that, again true to FOX form, they stuffed four great characters; DD, Elektra, Bullseye and Kingpin-into 100+ minutes of pointless, in-cohesive dribble that leaves me staring at my watch-less wrist, looking for some clue as to when this pointless nonsense would end.

TP: I’m sure you’ll mention this later Arth, but changing the race of a character is usually grounds for groans of dismay because such changes are glaring beacons of leaving continuity. It can go either way depending on the performance. Nick Fury and Heimdall are changes that are not missed because the performances are solid. Here, I was missing the Wilson Fisk of the comics.

Casting, Directing and Acting

PONTIFICATOR: Everything that was wrong with this movie started with the casting, exacerbated with the acting, and culminated with the directing. Ben Affleck is a decent actor, but couldn’t be more wrong for Daredevil, although he played at being blind very well. A wiry red head with a fighter’s demeanor and moves like a lethal ballerina – Ben is not. Jennifer Garner is also a decent actress, but doesn’t even begin to capture the allure and danger that makes a man quiver when just looking at Elektra. Michael Clark Duncan has done many roles...but none of them prepared him to fill the awesome shoes of Wilson Fisk a.k.a. The Kingpin. I never once felt his presence to be menacing or inevitable in any way. The only bright spots were John Favreau as Foggy Nelson, as he brought the only levity to the film, and Colin Farrel, who may not have captured Bulllseye as fully as the books present him, but delivered an entertaining performance anyway.

ARTH VADER: Colin Farrel's Bullseye and Michael Clarke Duncan's (MCD) Kingpin were both odd for me. I just can't wrap my mind around the Kingpin being a black guy, sorry. For me, Wilson Fisk will always be a big doughy white guy. Collin's Bullseye? Too charismatic and hip. This is a guy who is supposed to be an ace psychotic killer, not a wise cracking funny man with clever quips. Dear friends, this casting just didn't work.

TP: Many things didn’t work in this film Vader. Where casting and acting put this movie on the precipice, the directing sent it tumbling over the edge. I’ve said it before and will say it again...tight camera angles are terrible for great fight scenes. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the constant strobe effect and overuse of shadow, particularly with the bar room fight scene, is just a waste of opportunity to hook us with DD’s fighting skills. It is, however, perfect to hide the fact that nobody took the time to train Ben in any. At least the film was consistent because nobody trained Jennifer either. What are your thoughts on Jennifer as a super-heroine Arth?

Duncan as Fisk

AV: Oh yeah, those strobes drove me nuts. Jennifer Garner makes for a terrible super heroine. Garner is a beautiful, charming intelligent and commanding actress – except for her role as Elektra in Daredevil. (She also stars in the oddly intriguing but equally pointless spin-off film, "Elektra".) I think M. Clark Duncan would make a terrific Rhino or maybe Bishop (my personal favorite hero!), but he just fell flat as the Kingpin. Finally, there's big Ben. I don't know gang, he just... he just didn't pull it off. It is true that over the years I have grown quite fond of my fellow Bostonian, but this whole performance was trite, forced and flat. I'm afraid Ben's just not the man without fear.

Special Effects

ARTH VADER: In a word... "Meh". Sure there are some great fight scenes. The opening bar room brawl has some cool moments, for sure. But it all left me with a general sense of 'so what'. That's pretty bad for super duper movie. Now don't get me wrong, the flips and tumbles were all cool but even that wasn't quite handled right. Look, if we buy into DD as an avenging shadow in the darkness, I really don't think we should see very much of him. The fact that I saw him, in full light, so much onscreen was disheartening and cast doubts on his mythos as a ranger of the night. There are even times we are treated to the sound of his leather making that annoying leather sound when he moves. Ugh. The CGI was transparent, which is ideal, but in this case, it was probably because there wasn't very much of it.

Bullseye

THE PONTIFICATOR: There were special effects in this movie? Really though, the effects weren’t very special at all...and while I agree with the Vadermeister that there wasn’t very much CGI, what little there was of it was anything but transparent. It was obvious and poorly done and the incredible leaps and fluid motion of it was so sharply in contrast to the stiff choppy movement of Affleck, that I had to chuckle every time I saw it. On a positive note, the way they portrayed DD’s radar sense was very interesting, if not entirely accurate.

Taking A Deeper Look

THE PONTIFICATOR: I like to look at the overall balance of a movie but this movie was so much of a task to watch that it really doesn’t matter...but I’ll share anyway. What little comedy there was came from John Favreau’s portrayal of Foggy Nelson and, admittedly, he’s a funny guy and his injection of humor into this train wreck...er...film was a relief. I never took the film’s attempt at drama seriously because it was so badly done and while some of the action was interesting, too much of it was not and left me feeling robbed of an opportunity to have a good time.

ARTH VADER: Ok, so at this point, it's no secret that this movie was a disappointment to us – I just don't understand why. With the special effects available even as of the shooting of this movie back in 2002, this is the best you got? Really guys? C'mon Hollywood, there are millions of fans waiting to boost these movies on our shoulders with pride waiting for you to just get it right. If we can agree that comic book heroes are - in a way - a new host of urban myths, then why does this movie suck so bad? And how the heck did it make $78 million?!

TP: Arth, for the answer to your question of why this movie sucked so bad, please read our blog “The Boxed Office” where we, self proclaimed experts on the subject, give a very detailed analysis on the best and worst in super hero and science fiction movies. Oh wait...I don’t have to plug the blog, our readers are already here...my mistake. The answer to your other question as to how this movie made $78 million is easy, we were all robbed!

AV: I'm filing a police report! Its sort of like the prominent excelling student that gets a full ride scholarship to an Ivy League school and then drops out to become a stoner. Ok, to each his own, but man, what a lost opportunity for greatness.

Looking Ahead: Sequels

ARTH VADER: Can anyone say "reboot"? As of the writing of this blog (June 2011), David Slade is slated to direct the Daredevil reboot utilizing Frank Miller's "Born-again" seven-issue story line at it's core. I'm willing to give it another nod, (us comic guys, we do that) but we must establish some ground rules. First, no Ben Affleck. B-Dog, I love you buddy, you're just no Matt Murdock. You go do you. Next! Second, loose the tight, expensive-looking leather outfit. It's dumb. He needs to be more like a devil and less like a guy trying to look cool dressed as a devil. Blood red, not maroon. Lastly, I should see very little of him when he becomes DD, he needs to be like those fish photos we always see when they catch those weird things from the bottom of the ocean; a curious, erie and terrible sight to behold, yet oddly fascinating. Make me believe!

THE PONTIFICATOR: Wait!...you didn’t like the costume? That was one of the few things I did like about the film. The transition of comic costumes to film is always a tough sell, but if a man decided to dress up like a devil and fight crime, he’d probably have to go with leather and anything brighter would make crime laugh...not stop. There was so much wrong with this movie that I have to agree with my heavy breathing colleague...reboot! I don’t usually advocate this way, especially because there is an ongoing trend now to reboot everything. Even movies that were excellent are being rebooted...and I think that’s dumb. In this case though, it would be dumb not to reboot Daredevil and make it, at least, a movie worth watching.

THE PONTIFICATOR Rates Daredevil: Where do I begin? A good measure of any experience is to ask yourself if you would recommend it to a friend. I think in this case, if you’re considering this movie for a recommendation, the real question is do you want to keep your friend? Vader, we’re friends...would you recommend this movie to me?

ARTH VADER Rates Daredevil: Recommend Daredevil? I just can't, 'cator. I want to but even in watching this move (that I shamefully admit I own), I can't wait until it's over. As one review put it for this movie "Daredevil is 103 minutes I will never get back!". The most merciful thing thing about this flick is the closing credits, not even worth the classic Marvel studios wait-until-the-credits-are-over sneak peak. *SPOILER ALERT* I'll save you the suspense; Bullseye's not dead.

So I give DareDevil two busted blocks. One for effort, one for not making two hours. (You may now return to your yawning, already in progress.)

TP: Thanks Vader!...for keeping me as a friend by not recommending this film to me. Daredevil had all the potential in the world to be a good movie and chipped away at that potential by poor casting, a departure from good material, and shoddy directing. The special effects couldn’t save the film because they weren’t there and the only fix now is go back to the drawing board...literally!

I’m giving this movie a block for effort, a block for the Stan Lee cameo (always a pleasure to see) and a block for the music score...for a total of three busted blocks. Granted, I’m being generous, but that’s just the fanboy in me.

Daredevil: 2.5/10 Busted Blocks