It’s Whimperin’ Time!

Did you want another version of the Fantastic Four from Fox? Neither did anyone else. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): This was such a detraction from the original source material, 2016’s Fantastic Four remake was the film no one asked for and even fewer enjoyed. With no connectivity to any part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). or 20th Century Fox’s piece–let’s call it the F/MCU (I know fitting, right?) it was very difficult to see why anyone would have green-lighted this movie. Did you enjoy this, uh “film” Ponty?

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): This film took from the Ultimates version of the Fantastic Four, but of course there was just no way Fox was going to stick too closely to that. The controversy over making Johnny Storm black was just the tip of the iceberg in breaking continuity. Fox has a history of diverging from the original content…and it never seems to be an improvement…or a “joy” Vader.

CASTING, DIRECTING AND ACTING

AV: For the life of me, I will NEVER understand the Director choice, the choice of cast or even the actual screenplay for this film. Josh “Chronicle” Trank is a talented upcoming director of sci-fi/hero flicks and would be a good choice for most films. But not this one. Perhaps there were too many hands in the kitchen, maybe the politics were too steep, or maybe he just isn’t a visionary Marvel director but his vision just flat didn’t work. But that was the least of this film’s problems. 

To say this film was a mistake is like saying the second world war was a minor disagreement. Nothing worked. The cast was all wrong. I mean, Michale B Jordan is awesome, Kate Mara stellar, Miles “Insurgent” Teller is a good actor but he is NOT Reed Richards. Lastly, Jamie “King Kong” Bell is fine actor — but, the Thing? Am I the only one who had WTH moment over this Ponty?

TP: Using a young cast is a great idea Vader.…if the script and actors can deliver. Michael B. Jordan (Human Torch) is the only cast member that can carry a film (“Creed”), with Jamie Bell (Thing) running a close second being able to carry a series (“TURN: Washington’s Spies”) and neither were given anything substantial to carry in this film. Miles Teller (Mister Fantastic), Kate Mara (Invisible Woman), and Toby Kebbell (Doom) may very well be excellent actors, but fell flat in this film for me. The direction of the film was all over the place trying to bring to life a script that didn’t seem to care about the characters…..so neither did I.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: The visual effects in this film were so pedestrian there is nothing worth mentioning. In fact I thought the end-fight was so poorly done, I wonder if it was even fully polished in post. The effects weren’t even passable for a Pixar screen test. Honestly, just bad.

TP: Although there is nothing new to report with regards to the effects, they were done very well. Honestly, it would take a lot these days to really screw up in this area and while the effects were good, I found some of the costuming and effects thereof rather mundane and unoriginal, specifically concerning Doom. Thing, on the other hand, was superb and more real looking than ever.

A CLOSER LOOK

AV: Being one of Marvel’s flagship properties, I wasn’t sure what Fox was thinking. Since the agreement between Marvel and 20th Century Fox is that a new film must be in production within two years of the property’s previous theatrical release, its easy  to know why this film was green lighted but did ANYONE look at the final cut? Did anyone want to? Movie reviewers ripped this film a new one, audiences hated it, podcasters had field day with it and even Kate Mara herself is rumored to have refused to watch the final edit. I mean, how bad does a movie have to be for one of the primary actors to not want to even see the film they’re in?

TP: Fox needs to release these characters back to Marvel Studios. That’s the bottom line here. To slap together a film like this just to retain the rights to the characters is a slap in the face of moviegoers and true fans everywhere. There were so many areas of this film that could have been done better and very little that was done well enough. It starts with the script and extends through casting to special effects. If any one of these is bad, there is a chance the others can carry the film….but when all of them are suffering, the film is a rout. I would have more respect for Fox if they would just put the audience first, and let Marvel do what they do best with the characters they own. Fox doesn’t have respect though…they just want money, and it seems they will not learn until the lesson reaches their pocket.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This film fails on so many levels it’s not worth anyone’s times to mention. But what happens next ought to be real interesting since no one is looking for another FF reboot and even the cast of this film said there’s no way they’re coming back. I wonder if Fox will let this property go back to Marvel (Studios) as well, like Daredevil, Ghost Rider and Blade. While I’m certain this will not be the last onscreen version of the FF, this film won’t be remembered for anything other than a train wreck. 

TP: I dread anymore Fantastic Four films from Fox, but we all know that in their desire to make money and retain the rights to these characters, they will continue to put out lackluster films in hopes audience standards reach the lows they consistently aspire to.

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER Rates Fantastic Four: In a right and just world this film should have never, EVER been made. It’s only redeeming qualities are that it happened and that it paves a very likely path for Marvel Studios (the real Marvel) to reacquire this IP and let the big boys take over. I don’t even have a clever way to say this, this movie gets one Busted Block. It doesn’t really even deserve that, but I respect all parties involved and wish everyone’s career a healthy rebound. 

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Fantastic Four: I’m a hero head and wanted very much for this film to be something exciting and worth my time. Instead it was uneventful, short, and altogether poorly done. The effects barely made it watchable and teleported four (4) busted blocks out of Fox and into a universe where the Fantastic Four are finally done right (that would Marvel Studios).

Fantastic 4: 2.5 / 10 Busted Blocks