Only A Sixth Sense Can Decipher ‘The Seventh Son.’

Once again, a mystical youngster is poised to save the world in the perplexing fantasy romp, The Seventh Son. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): While this oddly named fantasy film owes its original story arc to a book called “The Spooks Apprentice” by author Joseph Delaney (an equally off-putting title if you ask me), the story chronicles the coming-of-age tale of the seventh son of the seventh son (whatever that’s supposed to mean) and quickly morphs into a poor man’s Van Helsing–type ride through the lore of monsters, witches-turned-dragons and all kind of other super-natural thingies. Mind you, dear reader, I have not read the book but the premise, from the other reading I have done to validate it, is that the screenplay is pretty darn close to the source material. Did you read the book, Pontificator?

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): I did not read the book Vader, but the  idea is as old as time…the world (being represented by a very small actually area) is besieged by witches and demons and the aging lone hero must train a successor to take his place and keep the world safe. Been there, done that…so the only thing that really makes this unique are the actor’s approach to the material.

CASTING, DIRECTING AND ACTING

AV: The household Hollywood names like Julianne “I just won an Oscar” Moore and Jeff “Anything’s Better than R.I.P.D.” Bridges, delivers that much sought-after star power bump to a film that might otherwise succumb to its own mediocrity. The direction–for me–was all over the place, camera work was deliberately methodical. Talking heads, to side angle, to (unnecessary) helicopter shots the story-telling and the imagery was a hot mess. The acting was a solid “meh” save for the performances from Moore and Bridges. There won’t be any Oscar noms for this one unfortunately, Pontificator. 

TP: Indeed not Vader. There were a lot of stars in this film, but the script did not allow them to actually use their talent. I think Jeff Bridges really made the most of his part and it was a pleasure to see him really get into his character, I absolutely loved his delivery. Julianne Moore was adequate at being evil, as was Djimon Hounsou and Jason Scott Lee (I hope this isn’t his attempt at a comeback). Antje Traue is always a pleasure to look at, but I liked her better in “Man of Steel.” Ben Barnes…being the main character, really did nothing for me and just added to my wanting to see more of Bridges.

SPECIAL EFFECTS 

AV: The effects in the Seventh Son are ‘Ok’ at best. Mostly clean, the effects are good at first but the sky shots of the city were clearly hurried CGI work and the monsters appear onscreen in varying levels of polish. Its hard to create a fantasy film these days without serving up a healthy dose of visual effects but movies these days need more. The visual effects need to help tell the story, not carry it. Unfortunately, films like The 7th Son are not about telling a quality story, regardless of the source material, but rather it hopes to wow us away from the fact that all too often, the story is FUBAR. Thoughts, P-Man? 

TP: There was no new ground broken here, although it was very fun to watch this film in IMAX 3D. I don’t think the film utilized the medium to the fullest, even though there were moments when the action seemed to pop off the screen. With such a sparse script and acting, more effects could have certainly been used to help elevate the film.

TAKING A CLOSER LOOK

AV: To be fair, I didn’t hate this movie (makes you want to run right out and see it now, right?). I went in with the lowest of low expectations, and was mildly entertained. This movie makes little connection and even less sense. Even its title is barely addressed in the film. While the dragons, witches and other supernatural adversaries look great, they fail to elevate the story or the experience. There was a reason this movie was supposed to debut over a year ago and didn’t. Whatever the problem they identified either wasn’t fixed or was so big it trumped other issues like poor acting and shoddy storytelling. And poor storytelling should be the cardinal sin of any film. Seventh Son simply rambles on in a world of McGuffins that are so uninteresting, we simply accept it and move on. 

TP: There isn't much more to look at in this film. The story was something very familiar in that good has to overcome impossible odds to defeat evil and the torch must be passed so that this responsibility is always met. I didn’t see any deeper insights besides that, and “love can overcome anything”….yawn. I suppose attaching big names was an effective tactic to get people to come to the theater (have to check the box office results to see how effective), but such a tactic falls short when you only deliver and alright film with a subpar story. Yes, there was some decent action in the film, and Bridges is looking and moving well as he gets older, but in the end, I’m looking for more.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This movie ended with the pretense ‘this is just the beginning’. The narrative pretends like this is all just getting started and to that I say… whatever. The film’s climax left me totally indifferent and while I would entertain returning to another installment, if this film or series is never heard from again, well, let’s just say there won’t be a whole lot of tears shed. 

TP: They could certainly do another film…but Ben Barnes is not capable of carrying it. Having Bridge’s character ride off into retirement pretty much spells the end of this story for me…unless they bring him back, and then we are right back where we started…and there is really no need for that.

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER rates The Seventh Son: Given the breadth of films due to release in the coming months, this film is, at best, small potatoes. Even blockbuster A-Listers can’t save this dull fantasy romp from itself. The non-sensical story, thin plot, plastic characters and yawn-inducing acting make this movie ideal for a lazy Sunday afternoon watch when you simply don’t want to get up from the couch. That said, Seventh Son is granted only three (3) busted blocks in the grand old ‘swing-and-a-miss’ Hollywood money-grab style. 

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Seventh Son: If you have nothing better to do with your day, then go see this film…it’s certainly better than doing nothing at all. I enjoyed the effects, the action, and Bridges. I didn’t fall asleep even though the cliche’s in the film are to yawn for. In the end, this film eradicated five (5) evil busted blocks in it’s attempt  to entertain me, and save the world. 

The Seventh Son: 4 / 10 Busted Block

Godzilla, Still King Of The Monsters

Gojirah returns in a fitting reboot of the world’s most notorious Atomic fire Breathing Lizard. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): In 1953 (1948?) TOHO Japan released the first in what would be a 60+ year love affair the world would have of downright campy films about a giant 300-foot bi-pedal lizard who emerges from the ocean to lay waste to mankind as punishment for all the nuclear testing performed in the Pacific. He also spews radioactive fire like a 19 year-old who swears she can down half a bottle of Taquilla in one sitting. Godzilla captured the imagination of us all and quickly went from destroyer of worlds to savior of mankind. We soon had such a fondness for the big guy, the storyline quickly evolved into tale sod Godzilla saving us from such horrible nightmares as Rodan, King Ghidra and (my favorite) the smog monster. They even had King Kong go a few rounds with Godsy. So it comes as no surprise that Godzilla is not really a terror but an avenging knight who rises from the sea when giant misters threaten us all. Pontificator, you are a giant in your own right, how say you? 

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): This film is definitely a throwback and nod to the original Godzilla films of our youth Vader. It’s everything we saw as children, but with updated… well, everything! They even set the film in Japan which absolutely had to be done, in my opinion, since doing the film right means going back to his roots and staying true to the character. This is nothing less that an icon getting his due…finally.

CASTING, ACTING AND DIRECTION

AV: When I heard Godzilla was coming out, I thought to myself “Yes! Finally we’ll get an American version done well!” When I go see a Godzilla movie, I want monsters, disaster porn by the zip codes and lots of fire-breathing action. You know what I don’t want to see in a Godzilla flick? A love story. Aaron Taylor Johnson and Elizabeth Olsen spend so much time searching for each other and their young son that there were times I was questioning what film I was watching. Even the uber-talented Bryan Cranston couldn’t make this story matter. So stop it. I want to watch some ugly monsters get stomped by the Big G and I want to watch some tanks get crushed and I don’t want know how Nurse Olsen’s patients are doing. 

TP: Well…uh, ok Vader. Let me say that the supporting cast was very good (I say supporting because Godzilla is obviously the star). I was particularly moved by the performance of Bryan Cranston as Joe Brody. His delivery really gave weight and credibility to the film.  Aaron Taylor-Johnson also did very well, especially in those scenes shared with Cranston as we saw the strained relationship between father and son in the wake of a past tragedy. Going on to play the hero (with Godzilla) was more meaningful in the wake of the character’s past, and present circumstances. Although Ken Watanabe played more of a supporting role, his screen presence is always pronounced and memorable. The film had a moderate flow, knowing when to tug on emotions and when to dazzle with action.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: So this movie is the bomb when it comes to visual effects. A terrific visual event. Loved watching the US Navy escort Godzilla across the Pacific. Seeing the giant buggy-things decimate Las Vegas is funny and fun. And don’t even get me started about the final fight sequence. As Johnny Bravo would say “Ohh-h-h-h—Momma!” From the collapse of the nuclear power plant in Japan to the shootout with the buggy-things in Nevada, the visual effects are top-rate, Ponitificator!

TP: IMAX 3D is always my preferred venue and the roar of Godzilla was certainly made for it. There was really no way to go wrong here, and they didn’t. Giant monsters have been done successfully already (Pacific Rim) and in this film there was more of the same but with probably a bit more refinement. The angles were excellent and the cinematography just enhanced the experience. Although there was no new ground broken, the fact of bringing old material into the present so spectacularly certainly counts for some extra points in my book.

TAKING A DEEPER LOOK

AV: If ever a movie did NOT need a deeper look, it’s a Godzilla flick. If you are looking for deeper meaning, engaging screenplay or solid emotional melodrama, you are looking in the wrong blast crater. The true flaw to this film is the belief that anyone care about Aaron Taylor (Kickass but not yet Quicksilver) Johnson and his dopey family issues. I don’t care about him. Not here. When he shows up as Pietro Maximoff in next year’s “The Avengers 2” I’ll be a big fan. But Aaron, take your dopey family out of my Godzilla movie. Replace his 35+ minutes with more Godzilla kick-assery (see what I did there?) The vapid, empty-headed, lam-duck lives and dialogue of this film’s too-many-to-count one-dimensional characters were less interesting to me than watching a congressional hearing on the national state of crosswalk buttons. The only dialogue I need in a Godzilla flick is “Run!” “Fire!” and “Lookout!” 

TP: Well sue me O’ Dark One…I actually did look a little deeper, my apologies. At the core of this film is the narrative of man versus nature and how nature will always find a way to endure and correct the hubris of man. It is not a fictional narrative, not by a long shot, as we can easily look around in our world and see where nature is being violated by our ignorance and apathy. Godzilla has traditionally been the product of our nuclear carelessness and it’s only fitting that the demise of man be bound to this. Of course, man has to endure (or else Hollywood can’t cash in on a sequel), but it’s only by the forgiving nature of, well, nature…that we are able to do so. Aside from that, the narrative that we can’t trust government (any government) is obviously a given (or at least it should be by now).

ON SEQUELS

AV: In Hollywood, a movie deemed to purposefully be a ‘franchise-starter’ is called a tentpole movie and Godzilla is certainly pitching them tents. I am all aboard minus more scenes of Ken “The Last Samurai” Wantanabe uttering heart-felt please to the US Admiral to “let them fight.” If the teaser shot of Mothra was any indication, we could be in for some more Monster-on-Monster awesomeness in years to come.

TP: I would be surprised if there wasn’t a sequel. The film obviously resonated with everyone that has ever watched classic Godzilla in their youth, and thus there is a proven market for it. While the MUTOS in this film were not the classic Godzilla adversaries, that simply left the door open to introduce more of our childhood favorites down the line.

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER rates Godzilla: If you’re looking for lovey-dovey love story crap, tales of human perseverance in the face of adversity, poor scientific explanations for hyper-fantastic events with lots of monster-riddled disaster porn, then the frustratingly fun eyegasm-inducing hot mess that is Godzilla is for you!  Honestly, the screenplay is all over the darn place but I am nothing if not a dyed-in-the-wool Godzilla fan, right down to my irradiated DNA. I even had a 2-foot plastic Godzilla as a kid that had fire-breathing tongue that emerged when you pressed down on the lever in the back of his head. And for that little boy that still breaths atomic fire who still resides in me, well, he was thoroughly satisfied. With that set up, my tail lights up and blows out 8 radioactive busted blocks. 

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Godzilla: Being an updated version and throwback to the classic Godzilla films, this movie hit all the right cords. From solid acting and story to spectacular special effects, there was very little room for this film to go wrong, and it didn’t operate in those small spaces. Instead it delivered a childhood favorite, vaporizing eight (8) busted blocks with radioactive breath and a thunderous roar.

Godzilla: 8 / 10 Busted Blocks