In Hot Pursuit of Scorching Fun

The second installment of the Maze Runner franchise that not all is lost, even during the Apocalypse 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): Faster than I would have thought, we got ourselves another Scorch Trials installment. I was surprised to have enjoyed the first film so much but I quickly forgot all about the campy ‘kids save the world’ story so when this one came out in the summer of 2015, I was like “huh–already?” The film comes hot on the heels of the first Maze Runner and as the first one was surprisingly good, my concern was simply; can the second one maintain form? Not a tall order but I had my doubts. How about you, Ponty? 

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): This film picks up where the last one left off…and like the last one, diverges greatly from the original book it was based on. This was to be expected though since the film adaption of the entire story left the books with the first installment... and will likely continue to the end of the trilogy. At least this film lines up with the first and in that, there is perfect continuity.

CASTING, DIRECTING AND ACTING

AV: Scorch Trials brings back an impressively talented cast of young Maze Runners, as Director Wes Ball expands his world of the and brings us new and compelling details of world that’s no longer ours but has become something else entirely. Let’s face it, Ponty, the acting is no great shakes anywhere in this flick but I don’t know if that’s the fault of the actors. The screenplay tries to involve the viewer and doesn’t fail, while not making a whole lot of linear sense. Still, the story is embraceable and we get so much more out of Scorch Trials than I would have thought, wouldn’t you say sir? 

TP: I wasn’t taken with any of the returning original cast Vader, even though they played their roles adequately (just barley so in some cases), I was more intrigued with the new additions to the cast. Jacob Lofland was particularly interesting in his role as Aris with his quiet demeanor and willingness to get involved. Although I like Aiden Gillen, he seemed to come off as just an alternate version of “Little Finger” (his Game of Thrones role)… worming his way to the WY.K.D throne. Giancarlo Esposito was a surprise and added some spice to the cast with his role as wheeler and dealer, but ultimately a concerned parent looking for a better life. Lastly was the unexpected appearance of Barry Pepper. Although he didn’t have a huge role, I haven’t seen him in awhile and it was good to see him return to the silver screen.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: It was hard not to to be impressed by this film’s visual effects. Massive CGI city environments-like the rolling electrical storms and crazy weather, as well as fantastic landscapes and of course (Spoilers!), Zombies. I gotta’ admit my friend, I did NOT see that one coming! Sure I might have if I read the books, but hey, c’mon what is this a library? 

The addition of Zombies, even different types of them, was kind of low hanging fruit from a story-teller’s standpoint but I loved it all the same. Really! Seeing brainless undead hordes chase our Maze-running heroes out of a blasted out skyscraper submerged in sand is one of the most compelling single moments of 2015 effects cinema.

TP: There was no new ground broken, but the effects were still well done and moved the story along for what it was…a giant chase film. With that, there isn’t much that need be done except having stuff pop out at various times coupled with camera play to distort the senses. It works well for what it was intended to do.

A CLOSER LOOK

AV: Okay, so in the review of the first installment of the Maze Running chronicles, I was left with a number of questions like, why are they there, and who put them there and why are they being watched. Sadly, I’m not sure I have those answers. Yes, I am aware the organization that set up the whole Maze observation dynamic was revealed but, why would ANYONE dedicate such large-scale technological, human, and logistical resources to such experiments? It make no sense to me. But I guess some things just have to hold our suspended belief. It’s my least favorite storytelling component to these movies. What did you think?

TP: Where do I start Vader? Perhaps I’ll start with the lunacy that in the middle of a chase, or while still being in peril, is somehow the perfect opportunity to stop and demand a detailed explanation for why you are running for your life. No? How about splitting up in dangerous and unfamiliar territory that is no doubt riddled with danger? If that wasn’t bad enough, how about leaving a perfectly functioning gun behind so one of your party can commit suicide? Uh... throwing away an empty canteen, so in the off chance you actually do come across more water in the desert, you have no place to store it? What about setting your place to blow up because you are under attack by hostile forces, and you only take ONE of the six or seven guns you have, and leave the rest. Oh… my personal favorite is coming to a fork in the road and deciding to explore the scary creepy looking tendrils on the wall and follow them back to a place of horror… and continue to explore! These are just some of the idiocy and lunacy that simply killed this film for me.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This film left the audience in a bit of a cliff-hanger so we are more than likely going to get another installment. I am quite interested in seeing how the story raps up in the next chapter. The culmination of robotic monsters (from the first film) and ravenous, black-blooded Zombies in film two makes me anxious to see if those two (adversaries) go to war or if there is a third terror unleashed on our heroes Runners as they head back for the final showdown.

TP: There is going to be a third film. In fact I have heard that the last film might even be split into two films ala “Hunger Games.” All I can say is if it is more of the same, I will probably be just as annoyed watching it as I was watching this film. 

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER Rates Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials: With a great–if not predictable–final battle wrought with tears, feel-good heroics and some good, old-fashioned Hollywood explosions and gun play, you’ll enjoy Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials. I dare say even better than the first, this film does a solid job of engaging the audience and I need to re-iterate, for any Zombie-lovers out there, this film has got the goods. Well-paced, loaded with good-looking CGI and a story that’s good enough to move things along, I’d line up seven (7) Busted Blocks and drop them into a monster-laden, zombie-infested wasteland and watch the good time roll.

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials:  Maybe it’s hubris when I say that I think I’m just too intelligent for this film, but when nearly every scene has me scratching my head wondering what the heck the characters are thinking when they do some of the dumb stuff they do…I have to wonder if people actually wrote this film or was it a room full of chimpanzees as part of some vile experiment. This film seems to have gotten lost in its own maze of idiocy and could only manage to find five (5) busted blocks

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials: 6 / 10 Busted Blocks

15 for 2015: Our Year-Ahead Preview

Geek Peek 2015: The Boxed Office helps you geek-out on your movie going for the year ahead

Happy 2015! It’s time once again for all of us here at the Boxed Office take our annual crystal ball session concerning our most anticipated films of 2014. We look ahead at some of the biggest sci-fi, super hero and fantasy and CGI films coming soon to a theater near you: 

(ARTH VADER AV) The Seventh Son (2/6) The lone remaining warrior of an ancient mystical order travels to find a foretold hero born with incredible powers, the last Seventh Son. Having watched this initial trailer for an 2014 release over a year ago, I am not sure what to make of this one, Pontificator. Generally, its never a good sign when a film is pulled and re-tooled or has a significant amount of new, re-shot material. Here's to hoping.  

(AV) Jupiter Ascending (2/6) Who's ready for an original Wachowski Brothers screenplay? Apparently no one was a year ago. The original 2013 release of this film was halted when initial audience pools tracked so poor, executive pulled the film and completely re-tooled the film. In February 2015, we’ll see how that effort turned out. I will say, though, P-Man, the new trailers kind of have me a little giddy. Here’s to hoping Mila “TED” Kunis and Channing “Jump Street” Tatum can do something they have yet to do prove so far… that they can act. 

(AV) Chappie (3/6) One the most talented directors in Sci-fi today is Neil “District 9” Blomkamp who’s latest film, Chappie, premieres March 6th. While initial reports are panning the film, I am excited to see what comes of this latest film. Another precursor to the ‘countdown to the singularity’, Chappie is the story of an AI / Robot who learns of the human world through the actions of his creator(s) and those that fear and mistrust him. 

(AV) Ex Machina (4/10) It’s time for another Singularity story arc, Ponty. This one features the story of Caleb, a 20-nothing programmer employed at a large internet company, who wins a week at a private mountain retreat. But, when Caleb arrives at the isolated retreat he finds that himself swept up into a a strange and frightening experiment in which he must interact with the world's first true artificial intelligence, who takes on the form of a beautiful woman. Directed by horror pro Alex “28 Days” Garland, the movie chronicles an interesting inter-species coupling thats both telling and frightening. 

(AV) Avengers: Age of Utron (5/1) When it comes right down to it, there really are only two big flicks to look forward to in 2015, Star Wars and Avengers: Age of Ultron. Marvel Studio’s follow-up to their colossal 2012 hit, pits our heroes against the Avenger’s greatest adversary, the twisted AI construct, Ultron. With new foes, new allies and new costumes for Marvel’s most colorful band of brothers, Age of Ultron has every potential to exceed the $1.4 billion payday that accompanied the 1st movie.

(THE PONTIFICATOR TP) Mad Max: Fury Road (5/15) : Being a big fan of the original Max films (“Mad Max” and “The Road Warrior,” not so much “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome”) I was happy to hear that director George Miller was attached to this project Vader. It means most of what made those films great will be returning for this reboot/reimagining although I was sad to see Max’s car get destroyed in the trailer (love that car). Tom Hardy is an excellent actor and the perfect choice to reprise the role of Max. This film looks as though it’s gonna be huge and the fact that they are offering it in 3D just tells me to expect some serious special effects! I hoping it’s everything the first two films were…and more.

(TP) Jurassic World (6/12):  I’m a huge fan of all the Jurassic Park films and so I’m very excited about this latest installment, the fourth in the series, set twenty-two years after the original. Although director Colin Trevorrow hasn’t done anything thus far to impress me, I’m hopeful that Spielberg as executive producer and Chris Pratt as the lead can pull this off regardless of any shortcomings, anywhere. The premiss of the film has some cheese potential, I mean, in addition to the regular dinosaurs posing a threat (as usual) we now have a genetically modified dinosaur to deal with, but this type of film is not meant to be thought-provoking, just a wild ride. From what I have seen so far, it looks to be just that, a wild ride for the summer and I’m looking forward to it Vader.

(AV) Ant Man (7/17) Who’s psyched to see a grown man shrink down to be 1/4” tall? I know I am! The littlest big Marvel flick stars Paul “Ant Man” Rudd, Evangeline “I’m Lost as an Elf” Lilly and Michael “Henry Pym” Douglas. Shrouded in controversy, due namely to the hiring and 8-years-later firing of wunderkind director Edgar Wright, this film has almost everyone in a quandary about this film’s ability to resonate with audiences. As for me, I say this; if Marvel made The Guardians Of The Galaxy the top film of 2014, they can do anything. The trailer is fun and has CGI that will likely make the world of the Ant Man a giant success.

(TP) The Fantastic Four (8/7): I gotta say that even though I was gracious in my opinion of the first two films (being a comic geek and all), I have not been thrilled by what I have been hearing  about this film. There has been much controversy over the cast, specifically Michael B. Jordan as the Human Torch, but reading the latest synopsis for the film, I might be willing to throw everything I know about the Fantastic Four out the window and come at this film with an open mind. I generally have not been happy with how Fox has treated Marvel characters, but it seems they might be taking some notes from Marvel Studios as it has been confirmed that the Fantastic Four takes place in the same cinematic universe as the X-Men. Despite the negative rumblings, I will remain optimistic.

(TP) The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials (9/18): I wasn’t a very big fan of the first film, it just didn’t make sense to me on many levels (see the review here) so a continuation of the story doesn’t have me particularly excited. That said, the very fact that it takes place in the most scorched part of the Earth with new dangers and challenges does have me intrigued. I’m hoping this film makes more sense than the first, or at the very least can add more sense to the first. At any rate, great directing and awesome special effects can do much to salvage a film, so I’m hoping this film encompasses all of the above and leaves us with something interesting to review later Vader.

(AV) Victor Frankenstein (10/2) This unique take on Mary Shelley’s classic tale of the original plastic surgeon, is the tale of Dr. Frankenstein’s monster as told from the prospective of Igor, the film is told from the troubled young assistant's dark origins-likely his cameo in 2014’s Dracula untold–or his redemptive friendship with the a young Viktor Von Frankenstein. Igor becomes an eyewitnesses to the emergence of how Frankenstein–and his infamous abomination–become the legends we all know. We can be cautiously optimistic that this film will be an entertaining–if not certifiable–train wreck. Heres to hoping, P-Man. 

(TP) Spectre (11/6): I’ve been watching James Bond films since I was a kid (they actually predate me) and I have enjoyed all of them (some more than others). I have certainly enjoyed Daniel Craig as Bond and look forward to seeing more of him in this film, his fourth installment as 007. Monica Bellucci will be the “Bond Girl” of this film and at fifty years old, the oldest to ever do so. Although this film will not be based on any of Ian Fleming’s original work, the idea of a worldwide secret criminal organization (Spectre) seems to fit right in with what has come to be expected from a Bond film. Also expected is plenty of action, some gadgets…and a new Aston Martin. As with the previous Bond films by Craig, this one should be a lot of fun O’Dark One.

(AV) The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2 (11/20) Pontificator, if I may, do you know why I am just this side of giddy over the release of this film? It’s because it means a certain and definitive END to this franchise that has quite frankly… overstayed its welcome. Let hit the finale button on this series and wrap this all up. I am fatigued over the amount and volume of HG comments, fandom, and movie chatter. This story has run its course for me and I will be happy to watch the final installment–and equally happy for the end of the franchise.

(TP) The Martian (11/25): This film seems like it will be a very interesting movie, although not as original as it appears to be. Based on a novel by Andy Weir, it looks to be a mix of “Gravity” meets “Interstellar.” Matt Damon plays an astronaut stranded on Mars (remember he was also stranded in Interstellar) with little hope of rescue, but a determination to live in hopes of just that. With Ridley Scott directing, I have high hopes that this film will keep me on the edge of my seat and completely entangle me in the plight of Damon’s character. If this film even hints at the desperation and emotional angst Sandra Bullock displayed in “Gravity,” I’m predicting a winner here with a deep impact and lasting impression. 

(TP) Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (12/18): Oh my… one can only hope this film is actually as big as it’s expected to be. This will be Disney’s first Star Wars film since acquiring the rights from Lucas and having J.J. Abram’s directing is just the tip of the iceberg. Set thirty years after the events of “Return of the Jedi”, not only is the film headed in a new direction (this movie will ignore the expanded universe of the novels, games, etc), with much of the old cast returning, but rumors are Disney has completely ignored any input from Lucas! Now this can be a good thing (no Jar-Jar shenanigans) or a bad thing (everything we have ever loved about Star Wars). Personally, I think Disney is smart enough to make this film as big, if not bigger, than the Star Wars films that have come before and this has me salivating in anticipation for a BIG December opening, Vader. 

Hard Not To Mock The Mockingjay

With the next installment of The Hunger Games franchise, Katniss & company try really hard to keep audiences engaged. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): The numbers are in and The Hunger Games will go down as one of the most beloved movie franchises in Hollywood history. Jennifer Lawrence’s Katniss Everdeen–heroine of the downtrodden–takes on political corruption and societal oppression in this landmark series of fiction books–and now films. As installment three in what is (presently) a four-film story arc, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1 is clearly the set-up for the ‘beginning of the end’ of the terror-riddled reign of the Capitol over the 13 enslaved districts. The story picks up some time after the end of THG: Catching Fire. Speaking of fire, were you burning with desire to see this flick Mr. Pontificator? 

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): I was indeed sitting in fiery anticipation of this film, Vader. The third installment of Hunger Games picks right up where the second film left off. In the continuing story of Katniss Everdeen, we are closing in on the final curtain and it will either be the freedom of the oppressed, or their continued subjugation. Personally I’m hoping for the freedom, but wouldn’t the latter be one heck of a plot twist? 

CASTING, DIRECTING & ACTING

AV: You know, it would, Pontificator. It might even make the franchise more compelling. Like all modern futuristic fantasy flicks of late, the cinematography of the Hunger Games movies is terrific. The visual effects are very good. And the cast is, well, all the usual suspects. J-Law brings her normal well-presented intensity to her Heroine. Woody (I still can’t jump) Harrelson joins all the pretty young faces to reprise their classic roles. The great Donald (President Snow) Sutherland and the late (and also great) Phillip Seymour Hoffman round out the super cast of Mockingjay, part 1. Surprisingly, Vienna-born Director Francis Lawrence (no relation to Jennifer) who has directed such sci-fi hits such as I Am Legend, Constantine and Catching Fire, tries like heck to bring a rather boring, calculated screenplay to a better place but to no avail. Thoughts Mr. P? 

TP: All the usual suspects are back (as you have covered)… with some new faces added to the mix. Julianne Moore debuts as President Coin and delivers the role of a leader that doesn’t have all the answers, but seemingly knows when to take guidance in those times of ignorance. Mahershala Ali (from one of my all-time favorite television series, 4400) also debuts as the premier military man on the side of the people. Natalie Dormer (of Game of Thrones fame) introduces us to Cressida, a defector from the Capitol with a singular talent for film. Admittedly this film takes a different tone than the first two in the series, but the pace is still steady and the buildup to the final film is definitely palatable. 

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: Oh I wish I could agree, sir. Perhaps you are a more insightful movie watcher than I am. When it comes to SFX, the visual effects in this film are decent but the story is so muddled, I found it hard to simply sit-still and try to endure the onset of wrist-watching, yawning and the fluttering ever-heavier eyelids, For me, Mockingjay just never really took off. There is frighteningly little that can be called a visual effects in this film as everything simply feels like something I've seen in the past. Would you agree P-Man?

TP: I would have to disagree, oh Dark One, about the sentiments in the beginning of your paragraph, but agree on the latter. Great special effects is what I expected, and that’s exactly what I got. There was no new ground broken here, just everything we have seen before done the same way as before. That in itself might be a detraction since with every new film we hope to find better effects than the last, but I submit that it is also a blessing to not be subjected to worse effects than previous films. There isn’t too much to say about explosions and the plethora of aircraft shots except that they were consistent to expectations…as was the set designs and costuming.

TAKING A DEEPER LOOK

AV: What surprised me the most was how downright boring this film was. I watch a good number of films over the course off a year and they range from blockbusters to indie films and beyond. The film seemed to only set the stage for the next one. It served no viable storytelling purpose as the characters sort of saunter from scene to scene. Whats more, I have a ton of additional concerns that were left unanswered that leave this film hanging for me. First, no one else has called it out so I will; it is IMPOSSIBLE to bring down two advanced, state-of-the-art fighter jets  with an explosive tip arrow. Could you do this to an F-35 or an F-22 Raptor? No. In one of the film’s three (yes, 3) action scenes, Katniss brings down two jet fighters with an arrow. Wha–!? 

Here is the deeper issue for me. This film is targeted to young people (mostly young girls), tweens to early 20’s. This franchise speaks to political unfairness. The injustices the elite visit upon the downtrodden and social inequities of a violent caste system that forces young people to eviscerate each other for sport because the government “says so.” Are any of these young women even ‘getting’ this? Do they even care? Or is this just more “cool warrior chick” stuff like a Ripley, Sarah Connor or that dopey Twilight girl that has already faded from memory? And if not, why does this film series even bother? 

And the dialogue, oh God. Listen old friend, I struggle as it is with many of this year’s films in this genre. The two Hercules films, Transformers 4, The Giver and Sin City 2. This has NOT been a stellar year for the spoken word onscreen for sci-fi flicks. This movie is no different. Katniss goes from refusing to be the voice/face of the rebellion to essentially “ok I’ll do it” inside of 20 just minutes. Here’s a hint Hollywood, we already knew she would agree. Please stop wasting our time. Help me out here, Pontificator, please tell me I'm on the wrong track. 

TP: Well… clearly I wasn’t nearly as displeased as you were old friend, so I don’t think I’m going to be much help. This film departs from the disturbing subject matter of children killing children and instead gets grounded in the more palatable struggle of an oppressed society seeking to break free of their oppressors. This is a familiar story that has been seen in reality many times…and it’s just eerie how the film parallels much of the current climate of out of control law enforcement. Just as profound as that is the use of the media in the film (and similarly in reality)  to paint carefully crafted pictures of what special interests want others to believe as truth. This was the draw of the film for me as watching it simply highlighted the state of the world today, although not yet to the degree that Panem is. Yes the film had less violence and action as the previous ones, but the reflection it gave was so much more interesting… and relevant.

ON SEQUELS

AV: Unfortunately, the inane use of the term “Part 1” right in the title implies their are subsequent follow-up “parts.” (Sigh) That means we all have to sit through another 2+ hours of J-Law making more uninteresting speeches about rising up against the capitol, something no one in the world should even need to have to hear. The real depressing news is that we can likely expect more of the same in “Part 2.” 

TP: We all know there is one more film set to drop to complete the series… in 2015, and I’m looking forward to it. 

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER rates The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1: Audiences have already spoken with their wallets and their attendance so my review may be moot. However, if you haven’t seen this film, I would encourage waiting for it to come to HBO/NetFlix/Red Box or whatever post-theater viewing venue you prefer. For me, this film is NOT good. Its’ boring with a paper-thin plot, amateurish dialogue, and woefully poor story pacing. And while I freely admit I’m outside the demographic of this film–or even this franchise–I couldn’t stomach giving this installment of Hunger Games more than three (3) Busted Blocks.

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1: With the film moving out of the arena and pulling up alongside real life, it had a different, but no less interesting, tone. The ideologies of right and wrong meet in the middle when the same tactics are used by both sides to advance their narrative, whatever it might be… which is why this film shoots down seven (7) busted blocks in the name of freedom. 

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay:  5 / 10 Busted Blocks

A Totally Missed Opportunity

A decent cast and outstanding visual effects can't save this remake of a Sci-Fi classic from itself. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): This movie was fun to watch, Pontificator. I say it that way because after I say that, this movie deviates so dramatically from the original short story it is based on I have to cry foul. It barely references the VERY good (and memorable) 1990 film starring action titan, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sad.

Originally published as a short story in 1966 in a science fiction magazine by author Philip K. Dick , under the original title; "We can remember it for you Wholesale", so even the title is a detraction. Since the original story (1966) was about a construction worker on Earth who wants to have a (false) memory of a trip to Mars implanted into his psyche. When we fast forward to 2012, this movie looses all sense of the story's original plot. It also looses it's way by losing the off-world direction by keeping the story on Earth. In fact, 'losing it's way' is a good way to summarize this latest movie.

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): You are treasure trove of information Vader! I had no knowledge of the original short story, so the only continuity discussion for me has to involve the first film of the same name. The only question that needs to be asked is if it retains the same story and/or elements of it’s predecessor. The short answer is yes, it contains many elements of the first film, but the story has been slightly altered. Well... by slightly I mean they’ve swapped out Mars in favor of staying on Earth and traveling through the core. On second thought... that’s a significant story change since that made the goal of the antagonist completely different in each film. Sigh... this review is going to get complicated.

CASTING, DIRECTING AND ACTING

AV: The cast of Total Recall was impressive, Ponty. In as much, I gotta' give a nod of recognition to Sci-Fi movie maven, Kate Beckinsale. This of course makes this movie infinitely more watchable for me! Unfortunately, that is where the attraction stopped for me. Even the addition of villain extraordinaire, Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad fame, the always intelligent and lovely Jessica Beile and even hunky leading boy Colin Farrell couldn't really make this movie matter. Flat characterizations, shoddy dialogue and poor story progression made this movie one heck of a shoulder shrug.

TP: I think Colin Farrell has hit or miss performances depending on the subject and script, and this film was s definite miss... although I don’t think his performance was all that bad. Kate Beckinsale is always a pleasure to see and I found her performance to convey an aura of lethality and menace as she was relentless in her pursuit of Quaid. Jessica Biel wasn’t a stand out, but I think much of that has to do with the script. Bokeem Woodbine is always fun to watch for me, and although his role was cursory, he had the one scene that seems to stand out in the minds of fans (from reading many of the movie fan sites). The directing was at blistering speed, and I think this hurt the movie more than help it... and although the cast wasn’t bad, if you’re going to remake a Schwarzenegger classic, you’ve got to do better than this.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: I couldn't recommend a better-looking Sci-Fi movie–from a visual effects standpoint–than this film. The stunning near-future cityscape is some of the best I think I have seen onscreen. The best robot-android effects seen since "I Robot" (2008) and some compelling near-future technology. Even the grossly unrealistic "Fall" ship was expertly rendered onscreen. I really felt I was viewing a futuristic London with hover ships and magnetic freeways. I wish the same could be said for the actual story and characters…although it did have Kate Beckinsale!

TP: This is the one area that the movie totally excelled in. The special effects were great. There was so much here from the look of the world to the phone embedded in the hand, that I scarcely know where to begin. The CGI was excellent also, and this film was a perfect example of taking all that has been done before, and doing it flawlessly. There need not be any new ground broken with effects if all the lessons have been learned, and the final product looks like a fantasy come-to-life. Almost every shot was laden with effects of one type or another... and try as I might, I can’t lodge a single complaint in this department.

TAKING A DEEPER LOOK

AV: This movie was ultimately doomed to failure, Pontificator. The original published short story unveiled a troubled and bored mind that wanted a memory of a Martian adventure. This movie completely ignored that original concept and instead shared some half-cocked story about a random, converted terrorist guy who gets his memories re-activated. Lame. Also, can we discuss this whole "Fall" business? I mean, really? A commuter rail that connects the English Isles to Australia…uh, I mean "The Colony"? So in 90 years after a CHEMICAL war devastates the Earth (because we apparently forgot about all the nukes) humans can only live in two places that are magically untouched by this 'chemical' devastation. And those two place are accessible to each other via a giant subterranean tube. Oh and don't worry, weather doesn't effect the contamination from these deadly toxic poisons. If the chemicals traveled with the wind, why… that would just be RUDE! Good thing we didn't go with the whole Martian storyline guys, I mean, it's not like NASA has sent working motorized robot probes and satellites there or anything. Good call, there!

TP: There seems to be a trend forming of remakes to Schwarzenegger films... with dismal results. Conan was a flop, and this film follows suit, despite the effects, for the same reason Conan failed. You just can’t do Arnold better than Arnold.

Gone are the one liners, gone are the colorful and bigger than life characters (anyone remember Benny...he had five kids to feed?), gone is the careful care taken to make a decent script, and therefore a good movie. The original has plenty of action and comedy to keep the audience dazzled and laughing. This film had special effects at every turn, and not much else. A devastated Earth where the upper class take advantage of the less fortunate...hmmm, I’ve seen this one before, recently (Hunger Games). At least the first film had the intrigue of going to another planet, and the curiosity of the alien machinations to build technology that would make Mars livable. If I were discussing this film in the context of just it’s presentation, I could be kinder, but my hand has been forced since they chose to follow in the footsteps of one of the sci-fi greats... and their feet just don’t measure up.

I’m still on the fence about if the original is a dream or real... and that was great writing. In this film I’m convinced it was real since Farrell had been dreaming of Biel in a specific way, long before he ever set foot in ReKall... whereas Arnold picked his fantasy on the spot at Recall, and then events unfolded per those specifications. The argument made through the film was much more convincing in 1990 than in 2012.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This movie isn't bad but ultimately it's quite forgettable, even though it stars Kate Beckinsale. What would be cool is for someone to use a ReKall machine and extract the memory of having ever watched this train wreck. Then when someone wants to make a serious re-make of this story, I will be able to say "Oh, nice idea, maybe it could even rival the Arnold version from 1990. Sweet idea!

TP: No need to make one...and very little desire to see one from the general public I’d suspect. In truth, this film should have went in another direction with the elements they had in place than a remake of the original. To mess with a classic was their first mistake, and I see no reason to compound that with another go at it. Here is a hint to all that would seek to remake anything Arnold Schwarzenegger has done: Don’t.

RATE IT!

Arth Vader rates Total Recall (2012): This movie is nowhere near as bad as my critique indicates. It is certainly worth a viewing, but you certainly don't need to see it on the big screen and by no means do you need to bring an analytical–or functioning–brain. The movie looks good and is certainly jam-packed with terrific action scenes. Just don't search for cohesive thoughts that make sense or a sense of meaning to a meaningless story. Total recall is a total disappointment that is not a total loss (Kate Beckinsale). After all is said and done, I still feel compelled to offer this film five busted blocks, though for the life of me, I can't seem to recall why.

THE PONTIFICATOR Rates Total Recall (2012): Apart from the special effects, there is very little about this movie I’d like to recall... and think it totally missed the mark for a great movie or even a good remake. Special effects does not a movie make, and this one only busted five blocks... totally.

Total Recall (2012): 5/10 Busted Blocks