This Almanac Is Hard To Read

Time travel—and a boring screenplay–have their consequences in the painfully amateurish Project Almanac. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): An original screenplay that–at least on paper—showcases the ‘what if’ prospect of time travel at the hands of some pretty smart teens. The movie did a decent job of considering not just the complications of time travel but the consequences and even implications of temporal displacement. Time travel is a huge favorite topic in sci-fi to be sure but is rarely handled well. Project Almanac has an interesting take on the topic and enters the realm of asking ’what are the consequences?’ Time travel could have massive repercussions in the lives of ourselves and our world. 

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): Well… time travel is certainly not a new subject for science fiction films, so to do a really good one you have to do something different (hard to do) or have a really great story (also hard to do). Project Almanac attempts to do both, but doesn’t attain the success it was striving for… although it doesn’t completely flop either.

CASTING, ACTING & DIRECTING

AV: With a cast of relative acting newcomers, Project Almanac is filled with a bunch of beautiful, fresh-faced white kids. The acting was mediocre at best–thats for sure, but the camera work was particularly atrocious as the entire film was shot in that ‘Cloverfield-esque’ handy-cam stye. While it may have helped the film’s authenticity, Ponty, I did not love it. In truth there wasn’t much to love. It did fit (somewhat) with the film’s messaging and storytelling style but those weren’t great, either. Thoughts? 

TP: Well Vader, using a relatively unknown cast (for me anyway) was a good move and probably economically viable. I really got into the characters and applaud the acting of these kids to draw me into the story. Jonny Weston was believable and carried the story well. Sofia Black-D’Elia played her role well enough, but ultimately was  just very pleasing to look at and added the right element to be a catalyst for the poor decision making of Weston’s character.

SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: Any second-semester computer graphics student at Full-Sail University can generate lightening effects and swirling leaves. Nothing knocked my socks off in the effects realm in Project Almanac. The film’s visual effects weren’t terrible, just mundane. P-Man? 

TP: The “camcorder” effect of the film, although not original, was done well and added to the tension of the action. There was not any new ground broken here and the effects were done well enough not to bomb, but at the end of the day, a film like this has to be driven by the story, not the effects. That said, the effects need to compliment the story and I think that was done here.

TAKING A CLOSER LOOK

AV: I think I am getting to the point in my movie-going journey that trailers are becoming an easy way to decipher a film’s quality or experience. I rolled my eyes like pizza dough when I first watched this film’s trailer. The movie’s choppy, particularly uninteresting storytelling style didn’t help. While all the ‘kids’ were portraying their respective roles to their best capacity, I couldn’t help but keep looking at my watch wondering when this all would start wrapping up. As early as 20 minutes in! The film offered an interesting take on Time Travel but not 106 minutes worth of interesting. (sigh). So Pontificator, how’d you really feel about Project Almanac? 

TP: Time travel has been done in almost every way possible Vader, so I wasn’t looking for some new and unheard of take on the subject (although that would have been wonderful!) I was looking for a bit more consistency though. I could write an entirely separate review on all the gaping plot holes this film left open…all due to nobody taking a serious look into the effects and consequences of time travel, specifically the alteration of the timeline. It’s not an exact science (I don’t think it’s science at all really), but at least sell something that makes sense. It would not have hurt to have gone over the script meticulously and closed the holes before filming began…  just saying.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This film had little story to tell and while the ending was compelling, I don’t EVER need to see anymore of this tom-foolery. 

TP: The film left itself wide open to continue the story…but with all the plot holes in this one, it might be a good idea not to add fuel to the fire, and leave any future thoughts of a sequel rest in the imaginations of the audience. 

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER rates Project Almanac: Lacking the polish and storytelling finesse of most Hollywood flicks, this movie is significantly under-imagined, especially for an original property. No viable plot, vapid, empty-headed characters and cinematography that is almost painful to watch, Project Almanac gives me very little to talk about positively, so I won’t. Suffice it to say, Project Almanac is a film that offers a great idea, but no points for grit, style or story integrity. It’s best to put away your Dad’s schematics and head back to class with no more than two (2) busted blocks. 

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Project Almanac: Although the subject of time travel has been done... time and time again (I couldn’t resist), this film was still interesting from the point of view of wondering how the characters would untangle themselves from the massive mess time traveling teenagers create. Using the camcorder effect added some punch, but in the end, this film could only travel back far enough to displace five (5) busted blocks.

Project Almanac – 3.5 / 10 Busted Blocks

Say Good Knight!

Parkour, Evil Babes On Blade Stilts, Secret Gadgets and Even Samuel Jackson With A Lisp, The New-Age Comic Spy Flick Kingsman: The Secret Service Has Everything. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): Based heavily on the comic book series, Kingsman: The Secret Service is officially listed as a “spy/action/comedy/film”. A film with a sense of humor and sense of itself, the movie ingrains itself to the audience as a smart, almost self-aware film. At more than one point in the film, actors in the film proclaim how “this ain’t that kind of film.” A spawn of the new age of comic-inspired story-telling in cinema, Kingman is fast, fun, and clever, quite like the comics published by Icon. 

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): This film is based of the comic series “Secret Service” which I collected and very much enjoyed. There have been some subtle changes made from the series to the film, but I can honestly say that when I watched the trailer for the first time, I recognized it as a screen adaption of the comics immediately, which speaks volumes to how closely the filmmakers tried to stay true to the comic representation.

CASTING, ACTING & DIRECTING

AV: With a strong, veteran cast, Kingsman is solid entertainment. Colin Firth as Galahad is just stellar and Mark Strong as Merlin was terrific. And mad props to sci-fi super-fan-boy favorite, Mark “I am a Jedi, like my father before me” Hamill as Professor Arnold. These three gentlemen came together to deliver a solid performance and brought the caliber of a well-crafted film and a superb screenplay to a level of awesome few films get to enjoy. Director Matthew “X-Men: First Class” Vaughn’s visual storytelling compliments the film’s try and genre magnificently. Excellent cinematic endeavor wouldn’t you say, Pontificator? 

TP: This film was well cast and well acted for what it was meant to represent Vader…namely a comic adaption of a spoof on the James Bond genre. Colin Firth played an excellent role as the emotionally invested mentor of Lee (Jonno Davies in his first major film role). Mark Strong was great in his supporting role as was the well established Michael Caine and beautiful Sofia Boutella. I think Samuel L. Jackson was just added for star power, but you really can’t go wrong with him…despite the shallowness of his role.

ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: A very smart array of visual effects helps make this movie even cooler than it’s idea. This movie did something I have NEVER seen before, and to me, that is the earmark of greatness—success or failure. The in-church fight scene is so action-packed, so infused with choreographed fighting with mind-bending cinematography, you have to take a deep breath after the scene ends. Really. It is that good. When visual effects make me say “…wow that was cool” to myself, well… thats the definition of good effects. To put the cherry on top, it is possible to watch this whole film and not truly even notice the effects they are so seamlessly integrated into the storytelling. That, my friend, is the right stuff. 

TP: If “over-the-top” was an official classification of effects, this film had that ad nauseam. Although I enjoyed the film and effects, I was literally sitting in the theater saying to myself…”no” as I could not believe how absolutely extreme some of the scenes were (as noted by the Dark One above). There is certainly something to be said for the similarity in the graphic comic presentation, and the duplication of that presentation in film. The 3D was used well, but it is getting to be a habit for me to feel like more could be made of using 3D in films.

TAKING A CLOSER LOOK

AV: Graphic novel adaptations have a checkered past in hollywood. Whether we’re talking the Men in Black franchise, Watchmen, Kick Ass or R.I.P.D., the graphic novel/comic book adaptation is a money making prospect for studios but hit-or-miss for content. Kingsman is a breed apart and can be considered as good as one of the best graphic novel adaptations. It shows how an action/comedy/adventure/spy thriller can entertain, delight and leave us wanting more. Gritty, senses-gripping action makes this film exciting. The characters and screenplay make it a must-watch. My only pause was the mousey or subservient nature of every single female character in the film. This of course, gives us the opportunity to do a more engaging female arc in coming films. Regardless, Kingsman is by far the best film I have seen so far this year. Ponty? 

TP: Heh… the year is still young Vader. This film was an obvious spoof on the James Bond series of films although the comic books never felt like that when reading them. Despite the insanely over-the-top gore in the effects, I found myself having extreme fun while watching it. I imagine many people that saw this film were not accustomed to the thick British accents throughout the film, but being an avid watcher of BBC America…I was right at home. I think if there was a template for a super spy spoof film that didn’t take itself too seriously, but still delivered some serious fun, this film fits that mold perfectly.

ON SEQUELS

AV: If there’s more in the store for Kingsman, I’m buying. This movie was solid entertainment, with a screenplay as smart as it was quirky. I could sit through a new Kingsman film every 20-24 months and enjoy it MUCH more than a Fast & Furious flick. Seriously. Action, adventure, comedy, social commentary and visual effects like a boss? Hell’s yeah, sign this brother up for 10 more just like it. 

TP: Of course they could continue the story beyond the books and make entertaining spy spoof films from now until whenever…but there is something to be said for doing a story just right, and leaving it to stand on it’s own merits.

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER rates Kingsman: The Secret Service: Truly a great film for action and spy flick lovers. If you like your films fun, your script witty and your action non-stop then I have no idea why you are still in your seat. Kingsman: The Secret Service is the type of movie Hollywood–and audiences–desperately need more of. It sets the pace for the genre and delivers an experience we have all too little of in films these days… a good one. So Kingsman: The Secret Service suits up with nine (9) very well-groomed and deviously-outfitted busted blocks.

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Kingsman: The Secret Service: Knowing the source material well, I was happy to see how successfully it transitioned to the silver screen. I think the effects being extremely graphic while the acting being a bit campy was the perfect blend of fun and entertainment... killing eight (8) busted blocks for King and country.

Kingsman: The Secret Service – 8.5 / 10 Busted Blocks

Jupiter Ascending Descends Into Mediocrity

Elf ears, hyper–fantastic alien technology and even Sean Bean can’t deliver the Wachowski’s latest flick from the planet ‘meh’.

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): Jupiter Ascending is an original IP (Intellectual Property) crafted by Lana and Andy Wachowski. One their first original collaborations. The Wachowskis certainly know how to make decent films though they can’t seem to develop a proper screenplay to save their lives. Even the Matrix was someone else’s idea and the first one was stellar. Wikipedia identifies this flick as a “Space Opera” and I am at a real loss as to why, Pontificator. What were your thoughts? 

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): An “original” film, I am not aware of any previous renditions of this story, which either says it is really an original piece of work, or not really worth the time to think up. I must confess that it actually may be a mixture of both. I thought the plot that the Earth was seeded purely as a future resource was interesting, but the execution of the plot was severely lacking. If by “Opera” you mean it nearly put me to sleep Vader… then yeah, pretty much.

CASTING, ACTING & DIRECTING

AV: I tried Ponty, I really did. I searched high, I looked low I just couldn’t find any evidence of acting anywhere in this flick. It’s like it just wasn’t there. No emotion, no emoting, no magic, no panache and certainly no vested motivation of any kind… anywhere. Someone also fell asleep at the wheel on the casting as Mila “Remember me from TED” Kunis dialed in her performance as 'Jupiter' from a satellite phone. Channing “21 Jump Street” Tatum was so busy posing and trying to look intimidating he forgot to bring any depth whatsoever to the role of the wolf-like Caine Wise (Wise Canine? Really). The saving grace for the category is certainly the direction which chose to use effects to tell the story then characters. But more on that in a moment, P-Man. 

TP: There is really only so much a cast, any cast, can do… given the material they are tasked with bringing to the silver screen. In this case, with the plot and script being what it was, I have to extend some slack to the cast for doing the best they could. Channing Tatum is a capable enough actor and having him constantly in motion was probably the best he could hope for in this film. Mila Kunis was actually a bit refreshing given the script as was Eddie Redmayne's over-the-top performance. I am a Sean Bean fan and was disappointed there was nothing of substance for him to sink his acting chops into.

ON SPECIAL EFFECTS

AV: Ah, now on to the tune value-added element(s) of Jupiter Ascending. The visual effects are other-worldly (see what I did there?). Fantastic technology and stunningly arresting visual and sound effects really are the stuff that help make Jupiter Ascending shine. I can truly say that the intergalactic sailing ships were breathtaking and the sound effects, ships and battle scenes were all top notch. Well done visual effects in Hollywood are the stuff of dreams which is perfect since this movie damn-near puts the viewer to sleep so at least the visual effects are the stuff of dreams. Ponty? 

TP: The special effects were done very well, and if a film could stand alone by effects, this would certainly be a winner Vader. Although there was no new ground broken, the application of some of them had me thinking about how they could be applied to other films. The gliding boot sequences had me thinking how easy it would be to do Mister Miracle onscreen (pay attention WB). Overall, the effects were very well done although more advantage could've been taken with the IMAX 3D application (as usual). 

TAKING A CLOSER LOOK

AV: The Wachowskis somehow get their hands on really terrific screenplays in Hollywood and do (it seems) everything they can to make them sub par. Now, I know, that is not deliberate, but it is the end result. The Matrix, V for Vendetta, Speed Racer, and Cloud Atlas to name just a few are all properties they get their hands on and flub up. Jupiter Ascending is just one more but when will Hollywood wise up and not give them screenplays that do not give them a massive visual effects budget? This film suffers from a lot of things and one of the glaring ones is a lack of vision. Show me all the pretty graphics you like, but this film is a two hour and seven minute yawner that breaks your will to watch way more than it breaks new ground. 

TP: This film had a great idea and somewhere along the way, went mindless with it. The idea that the Earth was really seeded to be harvested later to keep other people immortal is some great science-fiction. Not getting more in-depth with the larger community where all this seems to be normal left me lost. Constantly showing a different alien (or not so alien) species with every new camera shot didn’t help advance the story. It was like watching four years worth of “Star Trek” episodes in two hours….cramming every alien you can make up, but never explaining who or what they are…and expecting me to buy into it. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the necessary funds.

ON SEQUELS

AV: No thank you. 

TP: I’m not really interested in a sequel either, but unfortunately the door has been left slightly ajar. Hopefully this oversight is ignored. 

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER Rates Jupiter Ascending: The New York Post stated it best; "Jupiter Ascending is so bad it's almost good'. As much as I have kicked this film in the shins, this is by far NOT the worst movie I have seen, That said, with the high levels of bile used to make this film and the fact that this film just doesn’t matter, means you can likely rent, buy on video or altogether blow off. Let’s face it, if you miss this one, no points lost. Regardless, I slapped on a pair of elf ears, tossed on my air-glider boots ascended to give Jupiter Ascending three (3) out of 10 Busted Blocks. 

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Jupiter Ascending: With a great idea and great special effects, this film could have been a lot better than what it was… if it also had a great script and something tangible for good actors to work with. Unfortunately it didn’t have that and was only able to ascend five (5) busted blocks… and got nowhere near Jupiter.

Jupiter Ascending 4 / 10 Busted Blocks

Only A Sixth Sense Can Decipher ‘The Seventh Son.’

Once again, a mystical youngster is poised to save the world in the perplexing fantasy romp, The Seventh Son. 

ON CONTINUITY

ARTH VADER (AV): While this oddly named fantasy film owes its original story arc to a book called “The Spooks Apprentice” by author Joseph Delaney (an equally off-putting title if you ask me), the story chronicles the coming-of-age tale of the seventh son of the seventh son (whatever that’s supposed to mean) and quickly morphs into a poor man’s Van Helsing–type ride through the lore of monsters, witches-turned-dragons and all kind of other super-natural thingies. Mind you, dear reader, I have not read the book but the premise, from the other reading I have done to validate it, is that the screenplay is pretty darn close to the source material. Did you read the book, Pontificator?

THE PONTIFICATOR (TP): I did not read the book Vader, but the  idea is as old as time…the world (being represented by a very small actually area) is besieged by witches and demons and the aging lone hero must train a successor to take his place and keep the world safe. Been there, done that…so the only thing that really makes this unique are the actor’s approach to the material.

CASTING, DIRECTING AND ACTING

AV: The household Hollywood names like Julianne “I just won an Oscar” Moore and Jeff “Anything’s Better than R.I.P.D.” Bridges, delivers that much sought-after star power bump to a film that might otherwise succumb to its own mediocrity. The direction–for me–was all over the place, camera work was deliberately methodical. Talking heads, to side angle, to (unnecessary) helicopter shots the story-telling and the imagery was a hot mess. The acting was a solid “meh” save for the performances from Moore and Bridges. There won’t be any Oscar noms for this one unfortunately, Pontificator. 

TP: Indeed not Vader. There were a lot of stars in this film, but the script did not allow them to actually use their talent. I think Jeff Bridges really made the most of his part and it was a pleasure to see him really get into his character, I absolutely loved his delivery. Julianne Moore was adequate at being evil, as was Djimon Hounsou and Jason Scott Lee (I hope this isn’t his attempt at a comeback). Antje Traue is always a pleasure to look at, but I liked her better in “Man of Steel.” Ben Barnes…being the main character, really did nothing for me and just added to my wanting to see more of Bridges.

SPECIAL EFFECTS 

AV: The effects in the Seventh Son are ‘Ok’ at best. Mostly clean, the effects are good at first but the sky shots of the city were clearly hurried CGI work and the monsters appear onscreen in varying levels of polish. Its hard to create a fantasy film these days without serving up a healthy dose of visual effects but movies these days need more. The visual effects need to help tell the story, not carry it. Unfortunately, films like The 7th Son are not about telling a quality story, regardless of the source material, but rather it hopes to wow us away from the fact that all too often, the story is FUBAR. Thoughts, P-Man? 

TP: There was no new ground broken here, although it was very fun to watch this film in IMAX 3D. I don’t think the film utilized the medium to the fullest, even though there were moments when the action seemed to pop off the screen. With such a sparse script and acting, more effects could have certainly been used to help elevate the film.

TAKING A CLOSER LOOK

AV: To be fair, I didn’t hate this movie (makes you want to run right out and see it now, right?). I went in with the lowest of low expectations, and was mildly entertained. This movie makes little connection and even less sense. Even its title is barely addressed in the film. While the dragons, witches and other supernatural adversaries look great, they fail to elevate the story or the experience. There was a reason this movie was supposed to debut over a year ago and didn’t. Whatever the problem they identified either wasn’t fixed or was so big it trumped other issues like poor acting and shoddy storytelling. And poor storytelling should be the cardinal sin of any film. Seventh Son simply rambles on in a world of McGuffins that are so uninteresting, we simply accept it and move on. 

TP: There isn't much more to look at in this film. The story was something very familiar in that good has to overcome impossible odds to defeat evil and the torch must be passed so that this responsibility is always met. I didn’t see any deeper insights besides that, and “love can overcome anything”….yawn. I suppose attaching big names was an effective tactic to get people to come to the theater (have to check the box office results to see how effective), but such a tactic falls short when you only deliver and alright film with a subpar story. Yes, there was some decent action in the film, and Bridges is looking and moving well as he gets older, but in the end, I’m looking for more.

ON SEQUELS

AV: This movie ended with the pretense ‘this is just the beginning’. The narrative pretends like this is all just getting started and to that I say… whatever. The film’s climax left me totally indifferent and while I would entertain returning to another installment, if this film or series is never heard from again, well, let’s just say there won’t be a whole lot of tears shed. 

TP: They could certainly do another film…but Ben Barnes is not capable of carrying it. Having Bridge’s character ride off into retirement pretty much spells the end of this story for me…unless they bring him back, and then we are right back where we started…and there is really no need for that.

RATE IT!

ARTH VADER rates The Seventh Son: Given the breadth of films due to release in the coming months, this film is, at best, small potatoes. Even blockbuster A-Listers can’t save this dull fantasy romp from itself. The non-sensical story, thin plot, plastic characters and yawn-inducing acting make this movie ideal for a lazy Sunday afternoon watch when you simply don’t want to get up from the couch. That said, Seventh Son is granted only three (3) busted blocks in the grand old ‘swing-and-a-miss’ Hollywood money-grab style. 

THE PONTIFICATOR rates Seventh Son: If you have nothing better to do with your day, then go see this film…it’s certainly better than doing nothing at all. I enjoyed the effects, the action, and Bridges. I didn’t fall asleep even though the cliche’s in the film are to yawn for. In the end, this film eradicated five (5) evil busted blocks in it’s attempt  to entertain me, and save the world. 

The Seventh Son: 4 / 10 Busted Block